


Sweet Wonderful You

by Telesilla



Series: I've a Feeling It's Time to Try [3]
Category: Baseball RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Baseball, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Inevitability, M/M, San Francisco Giants, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:39:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Have we been heading here for years now?" And yeah, Buster thinks he sounds pretty stupid, but that's what it feels like. Like every minute since Buster first got called up has led to this moment, this kiss on this beach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Wonderful You

**Author's Note:**

> This is one possible sequel to "It Would Be Different and You Know It Will ."

"I'll talk to the guy," Hunter had said. "And get back to you with some details."

Buster had spent plenty of time over the last couple of days wondering just who Hunter was talking to. He'd gone online and watched some more porn too--just vanilla stuff--and he thinks he's dealing with it a little better. The world hasn't ended because he came with a guy's fingers up his ass and it hasn't ended because he liked it. He can still play baseball too, or at least he's been able during the last couple games.

He's a little surprised Hunter hasn't talked to him and he's still wondering who the guy is. He's spent most of his life not looking at guys and it's not like he'd be able to tell, but he's been tempted during the last few days to look around and try to guess....

"Don't walk into your own truck."

"Huh? Oh hey, Tim. What's up?" 

Tim just leans against Buster's truck and shakes his head. "Are you really that clueless?"

For just a second, Buster stares and then it hits him.

"Oh you are fucking kidding me."

"Well that's flattering." Tim's smiling a little though, like he thinks it's funny that Buster's surprised.

"Sorry," Buster says. "It's just...pretty unexpected."

"Unexpected gay," Tim says. "Sounds like an Indie band."

This is one of Tim's stupid time wasting games; Buster doesn't play it much so he has to think fast as he tries to come up with the next line. "I liked their last album 'Who Knew'." 

"Not bad," Tim says.

"I do have a sense of humor. Sometimes. And I pay attention."

"That's the thing." Tim gives him another long look. "So do I. And I still had to pick my jaw up off the floor when Hunter said something."

"Just what did Hunter say?" 

A seagull squawks overhead and Buster and Tim instinctively duck. "C'mon," Tim says, heading toward his car. "Let's go grab some food or go for a drive or whatever."

"Sounds good."

"You hungry?" Tim asks as they head out of the parking lot. It's all so familiar that Buster doesn't even know what to say. Not that he's driven around with Tim much, but he's been in this car before and he's gone out for food with Tim and all this time....

"Sorry."

"Yeah, Hunter said you'd probably be a little freaked."

Buster immediately feels defensive, which...well, he shouldn't be. Not like it's not true. "Just a little weird, you know? Me being set up with one teammate by another."

"It's not all that normal for me either." Tim gives Buster another look and then appears to make a decision about where they're going.

"Do you...date guys?" Buster sighs at his own question. "Date. Because we're in high school."

"Dudes do date, but I know what you mean. I sleep around a little, but not much. I sleep with girls sometimes too. Mostly dudes, but sometimes chicks can be fun." Tim glances over at him. "Sorry. If you don't want to talk about women, you know?"

"Nah, it's okay. She was...she is fun to be around."

"Makes it harder. You don't like someone, it's easier to shrug it off. It's when you like them but it still doesn't work...that sucks." When Tim snorts, Buster looks at him curiously. "Oh, just...way to point out the obvious."

"Doesn't make it less true." Buster glances out the window; they're on the approach to the Golden Gate. "Where are we going?"

"Dunno. Sausalito maybe. Bolinas. We can figure it out when we get there."

"That's deep."

"I kind of assumed coming back to my place or going to yours would be weird."

"Like this whole thing isn't weird," Buster says with little laugh.

"Yeah, it really is."

"I have to ask...." Buster begins and then he doesn't know how to finish the sentence.

"It's not gonna make a difference back there," Tim says with a gesture behind them. "Not for me. What about you?"

Their year has been so weird for them...hell, their whole relationship has been so weird; Buster doesn't know how to answer. He does know that Tim guessed what he was going to say, just like Buster's not surprised that they're about to go across the Golden Gate Bridge with no real destination in mind. They'll never be alike, but that doesn't matter. Maybe, in a way, it helps.

"I don't think it will," Tim says before Buster can say it.

"Neither do I."

There's traffic on the Bridge, but it's a nice enough day Buster doesn't mind. "Sometimes," he says without really thinking about it. "I wonder how I ended up here."

"There are worst places to be gay. Worst teams."

"Do they...the front office, do they know about you?"

"Yeah. I mean I think they do. I'm pretty sure they'd prefer me sucking cock to smoking weed."

"The t-shirts would be awesome."

Tim laughs. "The thing that makes you funny is the way you blindside people. I sometimes wonder if you're just trolling all of us."

"I am. I call in to KNBR too. You know, in my spare time." And maybe that's not funny, given that half the people who call KNBR these days want to complain about Tim, but Tim just laughs again.

"That would be epic. We should do that some night."

As they leave the bridge and go through the tunnel, Buster takes advantage of the darkness. "Why'd you agree to this?"

Tim takes a deep breath and somehow Buster knows he's about to hear the truth. "Because I've wanted you for years."

The come out of the tunnel and the hazy late afternoon light seems brighter than it should. "You've...I...."

"What? I could just laugh and tell you how everyone wants you, which they do. But I don't really give a shit about what everyone else wants."

"But I'm not...."

"Not?"

"Like you," Buster says after a moment. "I don't party the way you do. I'm boring as fuck. I watch scouting film for fun. All I ever do on my days off is laundry and watch NASCAR or Swamp People. I'm incredibly repressed and I'm so deep in the closet that I might never be able to leave it. I'm not...." He pauses. "I'm not comfortable in my own skin. If there's one thing I'm jealous of, it's that you are."

"Give me...well, a couple of weeks during the season or about a week after it, and I'll show you how to be comfortable in your own skin."

"Thanks, but that won't make me any less boring."

"You're gonna think this is stupid, but you're...you're like a whole different country, you know? And it's not just me being a dope smoking hippy from the Northwest and you being a hick from the ass end of Georgia. I've never known anyone like you." Tim shrugs, his eyes on the road.

"Also, and I know you get tired of this, but you're really fucking hot."

"I don't even know what to say." It's not modesty; it's the plain truth. He can ignore the stuff about being hot, but the other stuff....

"Yeah well, if you did, you wouldn't be you," Tim says with a laugh. "I've got enough ego for both of us and then some."

"It's not about ego," Buster says. "It's...I never know what to expect from you and this is...." He laughs. "Unexpected."

"It bugs you, not knowing what to expect."

"It used to bug me," Buster says with a shake of his head. "Not any more. Not since last year."

"Last year?"

"If it had been me...if they'd decided to have me just DH or something during the Series, I'd have done it. I'm just not sure I'd have been able to hide my feelings about it."

"That's bullshit," Tim says. "You would have done whatever it took."

"Yeah, but...look, I didn't want people, the press and the fans I mean, to know how I felt about Melky. It's not their business. But I was curt and I guess my face gave me away because everyone know how mad I was. And if they'd benched me, I'd have been really mad."

"I wasn't mad," Tim says. "I was...well a little mad, but I had a shitty year. I was just glad to be on the roster. I mean look at Zeets in 2010; if he could deal with it so could I."

Buster thinks over what he's just said. "I'm not saying you surprised me by being a professional about it, it's more that you were so fucking good at coming out of the bullpen. That was the unexpected thing. I don't have that kind of flexibility." He shakes his head. "So no, you doing things I don't expect doesn't bug me any more. It's just who you are."

"So I'm guessing Pence was trusting that opposites would attract?"

Buster leans back and looks at Tim for a long moment. "Must have been. It's not like I have a type."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah well, told you I was repressed. Hard to have a type if you can't even say that you like guys without feeling all weird about it."

"You feel weird about being here with me?"

"A little. I also keep thinking about what it would be like if...."

"If?" Tim's looking at the road and Buster can tell he's trying to give Buster space.

"If you kissed me." Buster sighs. "Yup, blushing again."

Tim glances over at him. "It's cute."

"Shut up," Buster says.

Tim just laughs. "Slow," he says.

"What?"

"I'd kiss you slow," Tim says. "Not because I don't want to spook you. Pence told me to take it easy on you, but screw him. I'd kiss you slow because I want to."

"Hunter," Buster pauses and clears his throat. "Hunter had to deal with a couple of freak outs."

"Yeah, well, freak outs happen. I just don't see any point in anticipating them, you know?"

Tim's matter of fact tone is oddly comforting. Before Buster can say anything, Tim turns down a small road.

"Where are we?"

"Bolinas," Tim says.

The road takes them past a stretch of water and then they're in a tiny little town. Tim clearly knows where they're going and when he turns a corner, Buster can see the ocean spread out in front of him. "Looks like we're not in Georgia any more, Toto."

"Did you just," Tim says and then he loses it, laughing so hard Buster's worries he's going to drive off the road.

"What?"

"You made a friend of Dorothy joke!"

"A what?"

Tim just keeps laughing as he pulls up in front of an old Victorian cottage that's been turned into a cafe. "Friend of Dorothy, as in Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, is an old euphemism for queer," he finally explains. "Coming from you, it was kind of hilarious."

"Oh. I had no idea."

"Yeah, I don't even know why it's a thing or where it comes from." Tim reaches across and rests a hand on Buster's hand. "C'mon, I'm hungry."

Buster glances down at their hands and then out the window at the little cafe. "Someone's going to recognize us."

"Yeah, people will look," Tim says, pulling his hand back. "Relax. No one's gonna think anything weird."

Turns out Tim's right. The place is less half full and near as Buster can tell, all of the customers are surfers. A couple people ask for autographs and then everyone leaves them alone.

The food's good and so's the company. The conversation meanders; somehow they end up talking about the faces pitchers make and Tim almost snorts his ice tea when Buster imitates Madison.

"What I want to know, is does he make that face when he comes?"

It's Buster's turn to snort; he almost chokes on a french fry. "Don't look at me; I just roomed with him." He coughs again and then drinks some coke. "What about you? You make your face?"

"Go ahead, make it easy for me," Tim says, shaking his head. "I mean really, you wanna find out?" He leers at Buster and Buster snickers.

"Yeah, I don't even know why I said that."

There's apple pie on the menu and Tim rolls his eyes when Buster orders a slice with ice cream. "Could you be any more of a cliche?"

"Fuck you," Buster says after his first bite. "This is heaven on a plate."

"Yeah?" Tim looks down at his key lime pie. Before Buster can stop him, he reaches across the table with his fork and grabs a forkful of Buster's pie. "Pretty good."

"Hey," Buster says. He leans over and steals some of Tim's pie and oh, God, this really is some kind of date.

"You have pie on your fork," Tim says after a moment.

"Huh? Oh sorry." The key lime is good but Buster thinks the apple is better. "Just realized that this is a date like...like any other date."

"You're a little slow," Tim says, but he's smiling.

"I really am," Buster says. He wants to ask questions, wants to ask what Tim expects, where this is going. But he thinks about Tim talking about figuring it out when they get there. Maybe he needs to do that, or at least try to do that.

The sun's going down when they leave the cafe. "This is perfect," Tim says. "C'mon."

He drives a few more blocks and then turns out onto a one lane road. They were looking at a little bay before, Buster realizes. Now, out on their left, the real Pacific Ocean stretches out to the horizon. There's no one on the road and there's no one parked in the tiny little three car parking area Tim pulls into five minutes later. It's just them and the vast expanse of water.

As soon as Tim kills the engine, Buster gets out of the car.

"Still not in Georgia anymore, Dorothy?"

"No." Buster keeps looking. "You grew up with this, didn't you?"

"Not exactly. But it was close; I could see the ocean every time I went into the city. And the ballpark at UW is right on the water."

"It's kind of overwhelming. Back home, you can't see the horizon like this. It's all trees and fields and it's always green. When I first saw how the hills get all burned and gold in summer out in the valley near Fresno it kind of freaked me out."

"Yeah, me too. It's all green where I lived too. Well, green and strip malls."

"You wanna?" Buster says, gesturing toward the rough looking set of stairs that go down to the beach.

"Yeah."

It's only about ten steps down to the beach. "Talk about cliche," Buster says, keeping his eyes on the ocean. He can see the fog bank now; pretty soon it'll roll in on the stiff breeze that whips around the park most nights.

"Cliche?" Tim asks. He's standing right next to Buster now and when he moves closer, it seems right to let him slide his arm around Buster's waist.

"The beach at sunset."

"I didn't plan this part." Tim chuckles. "I didn't plan anything, really."

"What about...did you plan on....?"

"On?" Tim waits a minute. "Kissing you?"

Having to bend down to kiss someone shouldn't feel weird, but it does because it's nothing like kissing Kristen. Tim reaches up, slides his hand around the back of Buster's neck and holds him in place. And then...and then he's kissing Buster just like he said he would--slowly. It's not at all tentative; Tim knows exactly what he's doing. As his tongue presses into Buster's mouth, Buster sighs and relaxes. Tim kisses like he wants to figure Buster out, like he'd happily stand on this beach for hours kissing Buster.

"Tell me something you like," Tim says, when he finally pulls back a little. They're still so close that Buster can feel Tim's lips move as he talks. "Tell me how you want to be touched right now."

"Um...my neck," Buster finally manages to say. "With your fingers...fuck, yeah that."

Still tracing lazy circles on Buster's neck just below his hairline, Tim kisses him again. It's just kissing...it's just Tim's hand on the back of his neck, but it's fucking devastating. It's not just that Buster's turned on--although he is, almost painfully so--it's that Tim's not being careful with him. Oh, he's being gentle but he's not hesitant; he's going to lead, but only if Buster wants to follow.

"Driving me fucking crazy," Buster mumbles. "God, Tim...." Their foreheads are pressed together and Buster can hear the waves hitting the beach. It's probably one of the most romantic moments of his life and the weird thing is that it's familiar. Not in a _deja vu_ kind of a way, but more like....

"Have we," he says and then has to pause, because what if he sounds like a complete idiot? "Have we been heading here for years now?" And yeah, he sounds pretty stupid, but that's what it feels like. Like every minute since Buster first got called up has led to this moment, this kiss on this beach.

Tim just leans back a little and looks up at him. "That's...I don't know. It feels like it right now. Other times...honestly, I've spent the last year or so thinking you're ace."

"I'm what?" Buster's pretty sure he's not talking about pitching.

"Asexual," Tim says. "You never ever flirt with women; you don't even look. You don't go out with girls at all and even when you were married there was this...distance between you two."

"You didn't think I was gay?"

"Nope. You don't look at hot guys. I don't mean in the clubhouse, but I glance at guys in bars now and then and I've never seen you do it."

"Because I don't."

"Yeah and now I know why. At the time, I thought you just didn't like or weren't interested in sex."

"Trust me, I'm interested. Not just in sex but...but this." He reaches up and rests his hand over Tim's hand on the back of his neck. "Touching."

"Yeah? Because I could spend a lot of time just touching you."

"I could go for that, long as I get to touch you back." Taking a deep breath, he tries to get his next words out. "And you. The other thing I'm interested in is you."

Tim gives him that big goofy grin; the one that always made Buster smile in return. "I could learn to like cliches--beaches at sunset, apple pie, the boy next door." he says and kisses Buster again.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Only one problem. I'd stay here all night if we were gonna get the full on deal with stars and a warm breeze, but since we're not..."

"Maybe some place a little warmer?"

"Yeah." Tim pulls Buster down for another kiss. "Maybe some place where we can be horizontal. I worry about your neck and back."

"Right," Buster says with a laugh. "That's the only reason."

"I didn't say that...."

Once they're back in the car, Tim looks over at Buster. "Might as well keep with the cliches--my place or yours."

"Yours? Unless you really want to drive all the way to Orinda. And anyway, it looks like no one lives there."

"Yeah, well," Tim says as he starts up the car. "It's in a suburb; what did you expect?"

"Good schools," Buster says. "Privacy. A nice place with plenty of room." He sighs. "I hate it and not just because of the divorce. Honestly? I probably have more of my stuff over at Matty's place than I do at the house."

"Should I be jealous?"

"Of Matt?" Buster pauses for a minute, because the idea of looking at his teammates that way is still new. "No. I mean, even if he were gay, which I'm pretty sure he's not. it'd be like having a thing for an older brother, you know?"

"Buster? I was joking." Tim laughs. "Don't worry," he adds when Buster sighs. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't miss the occasional joke."

"I didn't think that was one of my more attractive qualities."

"It is, since I like the challenge of getting you to lighten up."

"Just as long as that doesn't involve get me to light up." Even as he says it, Buster winces. "I'm not trying to say...."

"Seriously, relax."

Buster glances at Tim but if Tim's angry, he's hiding it well.

"No," Buster says. "You need to understand this. It's not my thing, which is, I know, kind of stupid considering how much I drink at times. But if I've ever come across like I disapprove, I don't. Not really. it's more that I worry."

"I'd wondered if that was it." Tim pauses. "I'm not trying to get you to, but have you ever smoked?"

"No," Buster says. "It's a control thing. Like I said, it's stupid, but I feel like I can still rein myself in when it's just booze."

"And it really won't bug you if I do sometimes?"

And just like that, they're both acting like this is already a thing, even though they've been on all of one date. Only, Buster thinks, it's not just that. He was right earlier--they've been moving in this direction for years. He doesn't need to get to know Tim; he already knows Tim better than he knows his own sister.

"No. And I'll try not to worry." He laughs. "Well, no more than I do normally."

"Like I said, I'm looking forward to getting you to relax."

"You know something? I'm looking forward to it too."

They're silent for a time while Tim drives and Buster thinks.

"Does your ex know?" Tim finally says. "About you?"

"Yeah. She didn't give me shit about it. I think she was more relieved to know it wasn't her fault that I never wanted to have sex." He shrugs. "She's got a boyfriend now. He likes the kids and seems like a nice enough guy."

"Will this...us I mean, be a problem?"

"I dunno. It depends on...."

"What?"

"What 'this' is. Here we are, talking like it's a done deal and we haven't even...." Buster pauses. "Thing is," he adds before Tim can say anything. "I feel like it is. Like I said earlier--it's like we've been heading here forever. And I can't even imagine not...."

"Not?"

"Not liking sex with you."

"You're blushing again."

"Shut the fuck up." Buster says, ducking his head. Tim just laughs.

"You have no idea how much I like making you blush."

"You like the weirdest things about me."

"You're normally so contained. It's like getting you to relax. I want to see...."

"See?"

"Things you don't let other people see." Tim pauses and glances at Buster. "And I'm not just talking about your ass, nice as it is."

"Lots of guys see my ass."

"My point. How many of them get to see the rest of you...I dunno, unguarded?"

"Only Hunter, I guess. And only once."

"He didn't say much about what happened with you. He said you spent the night but he didn't get specific."

"It was...frustrating, weird, a lotta things. He was nice though, really patient." Buster sighs. "You wanted to see me blush...I jerked him off and it was totally awkward. But...."

"But?" Tim says after a moment.

"But since it was the first time I'd ever touched someone else's dick, it went fairly well. I mean up to the point where I tried to use my mouth and had a moment."

"Oh God, me too." When Buster turns to stare at him, Tim shakes his head. "You probably didn't gag and almost throw up."

"Didn't get that far, but wow, that must have been embarrassing."

Yeah. Dude was nice enough about it, but I felt like an idiot. Point is, everyone has moments; don't feel so bad about it."

"I'm not a teenager. I'm supposed...."

"To know everything? To have your shit together? Dude, I'll be thirty next year and I sure as fuck don't." Tim reaches out and rests a hand on Buster's thigh. "This is where you really are too serious."

"I need to lighten up a little?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's just sex. It's supposed to be fun. Did you have fun?"

Leaning his head back against the headrest, Buster closes his eyes. "Sort of," he says after thinking about it for a moment." He sighs. "He...he used his fingers, you know? And I kind of.... No, I really got into it. I stopped thinking and just...."

"Felt?"

"Yeah. And then I got weird about it later on. Of course."

"Buster?" Tim sounds serious.

"Yeah?"

"What the fuck do I have to do to get you to stop beating up on yourself?"

"I...um...."

"You've been in the closet for, like, ever and now you're angry with yourself for...." Tim sighs, a frustrated noise. "For taking a couple steps forward and a step back. You're not perfect, okay?"

"What? I don't think I'm perfect."

"No, I know, but, I mean, look at you. The most important thing in your life comes easy for you. Never mind the occasional slump; you're one of the best ball players anyone's ever seen and you...well, if you feel any doubt about that, no one sees it. You don't let anyone see it. So now something's new and weird and difficult and you're having all kinds of doubts and you don't want anyone to see you having them."

"Huh." Buster's not entirely sure what to say. "I think you know me better than I do."

"I'm sorry. It's just frustration on my part. I've had this fucking thing for you for years and it's tough to listen to you be so hard on yourself."

Something clicks inside Buster's head. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Because I've been watching you run yourself down for over a year now. And it's bugged me. A lot. And now I think I know why."

"That's," Tim begins and then he pauses. "I was gonna say that was different."

"And it is," Buster says. "But it's still someone I really care about being hard on themselves."

"Yeah?" Tim's smile is broad and genuine; Buster can't help smiling back.

"Yeah."

Buster's never been to Tim's place--the new one--before. It's about what he'd expect; the furniture's nice but it doesn't all match like the stuff in his place or Hunter's. Saying a place looks lived in is a yet another cliche but in Tim's case, it's a good one. That's about all he has time to think before Tim's dogs are all over his feet and legs.

"Hey, buddy," he says, leaning down to let one of them sniff his hand. "Cy, right?"

"Yeah." Tim rolls his eyes a little, like he kind of regrets the name now. "And Kayo."

"Check you out," Buster says to the dogs as they both nuzzle his hands. "You're all fierce and shit, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah, they'll lick you to death if you let them." Tim snaps his fingers. "C'mon you two, wet food time."

Buster leans in the kitchen doorway watching Tim dish up dog food. Instead of giving it to the dogs right there, Tim leads them into a back bedroom clearly fitted out for them. "Enjoy, guys," he says and closes the door on them.

"They don't mind?"

"Nah, it's kind of like crate training. I let them roam most of the time, but if I have people over for dinner or, you know, if I'm planning on getting lucky, they go in there. Nothing like a wet dog nose on your butt to really ruin the mood."

"And were you?" Buster asks. "Planning on getting lucky?"

"Totally." Tim grins at him. "You want a beer or something?"

Buster remembers the way he felt at Hunter's; like a beer would be....

"Nah, it'd be cheating."

"Yeah well, nothing wrong with a little cheating." Tim steps forward and, reaching up, rests a hand on the back of Buster's neck. "I mean, this is cheating."

Buster shivers a little. "It totally is," he agrees. "Tell me what works for you."

"Your hands," Tim says. He doesn't hesitate at all; it's like he's thought about this already.

"My hands," Buster looks down. "I've always thought they're too big."

"I've always thought they'd look good on my dick."

"Yeah, well...." Before he can overthink it, he reaches down and presses his hand against the fly of Tim's jeans. Tim's hard and he pushes into Buster's hand. "Can't really see it if you're still dressed," Buster says.

"I can fix that."

Tim's bedroom is big and sparsely furnished, which really makes the huge bed stand out. "Jesus," Buster says. "Do you have, like, orgies in here or something?"

"Nah," Tim says. "It's mostly because this bedroom's so big; a regular bed would be lost in here. And besides," he adds with a grin. "You can avoid the wet spot and still have room for two people to sleep."

"Totally a plus," Buster says as he unbuttons his shirt.

"Not that there's...the bed's not made but it's clean."

"I figured." Buster sits on the edge of the bed. Tim's stripping--leaving his clothes in a messy pile at his feet--and Buster just stares at him. As with Hunter, it's nothing he hasn't seen before, but again, it's not like he was looking all that closely. And yet....

Maybe it's just that they've played together longer or maybe Buster really did look without even knowing it, but whatever it is, Tim's familiar. He's less cut than he was in 2010, but more than he was last year. In spite of what people say about him, he doesn't look the least bit girly. And his dick...he's not scary big, but beyond that, Buster hasn't got any real basis for comparison. He wants to touch it though--like, a lot.

Tim clears his throat and looks pointedly at Buster and Buster's face goes red.

"Clothes," Tim says. "If you feel comfortable...."

"Oh yeah." Buster leans over and unlaces his shoes. He does feel comfortable, well as much as can be expected under the circumstances. "Sorry," he adds as he stands up. "I was too busy looking at you."

"Yeah, well," Tim says, stepping in closer. "Why do you think I want you to get naked? Because, damn." He reaches out to rest a hand on Buster's chest as soon as Buster's taken his shirt and t-shirt off.

Getting rid of his jeans and boxers is easier that Buster thought it would be. He doesn't feel totally awkward once he's naked and he kind of likes the way Tim's looking at him. It's weird because he usually hates it when people talk about his looks, but now it's...well, he's glad Tim likes what he sees.

"Back," Tim says, pushing just a little on Buster's chest until Buster sits down. "Keep going." Tim leans forward, following Buster down.

Once Buster's sprawled out on the bed with Tim straddling him, Tim bends down and kisses him. It's another long, slow kiss and when, in the middle of it, Buster thinks about how he's naked and in bed with a guy, he doesn't tense up.

"You're so easy to kiss," Tim says.

And there it is again, the feeling that of course it's easy; of course the two of them are easy with each other. "You too," Buster says, going up on his elbows so he can kiss Tim again. It's more intense this time and Buster arches up a little. He could easily come this way; he's close already and he pulls back. "Gonna...if we keep doing this."

"Really?"

"Yeah, well, I'm just plain easy."

To his surprise, Tim looks at him, his expression serious. "Not that kind of easy." He reaches out and runs his fingers through Buster's hair.

"Easy for you, then."

"Mmmmm...lucky me." After rubbing his thumb across one of Buster's cheeks, Tim slides off him. "Let's get you all the way on the bed before we decide what we want to do, okay?"

"What do we want to do?" Buster asks once he's settled on the bed, his head on one of the pillows. "You wanted to see my hand on...."

"Later. Right now I want to make you feel good." Tim rests his hand on Buster's chest and rubs his thumb across one of Buster's nipples.

"Fuck," Buster gasps and shudders a little when Tim does it again. "That's...that's a start."

"Huh," Tim says and, instead of rubbing Buster's nipple again, he slides his hand up Buster's chest and runs his fingers along the side of Buster's neck. "Jesus," he murmurs as Buster shivers. "Is there any part of you that's not sensitive?"

"If there is," Buster says, "you haven't found it."

"Is it okay if I sort of take over here? Because I want you to just lie back and feel good without worrying about me." Tim grins at him. "Or not worrying about me for a while."

"Seems kind of selfish, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I know." Tim looks all serious for a moment and then laughs. "But I'm feeling really selfish right now."

"That's not...." Buster shakes his head. "Why the hell am I trying to talk you out of whatever it is you want to do?"

"I have no idea. You'd think, after the last few years, you'd know better."

"Fine," Buster stretches a little and then relaxes back onto the bed. "Go ahead."

Tim does look almost selfish as he runs his hands all over Buster's chest and stomach and arms. It's like he's taking stock of all Buster's hot spots. Under his hands, Buster feels like he's nothing but one big hot spot; it feels good no matter where Tim touches him. And it seems like Tim is touching him everywhere. Well, everywhere except his dick.

By the time Tim's hands are skimming over Buster's thighs, Buster's squirming. He's so hard it hurts and when he looks down at his dick, it's slick at the head. "Tim," he says, not caring that he sounds a little desperate.

"Yeah?"

"Driving me fucking nuts here."

"Mmmm....good." Tim runs a finger up the underside of Buster's cock. "I wanna do something here...drive you even crazier here, but I don't know if you...."

Buster goes up on his elbows. "Tim? Just ask."

"Do me a favor then," Tim says. "There's some lube in the nightstand."

For just a minute, Buster freezes. Then he thinks, well, why not? He trusts Tim and if Tim wants to fuck him--if Tim thinks he's ready--then Buster's gonna go with it.

"Relax," Tim says when Buster hands him the small bottle. "We'll work up to that. Right now, like I said, I want to make you feel good."

"I trust you," Buster says because he really wants Tim to know that.

"Jesus," Tim says. He drops the bottle on the bed and slides up next to Buster. "I must have been awesome in my last life." Before Buster can say anything, Tim kisses him again. It's slow, like it was on the beach; Buster moans a little and runs his hand down Tim's back.

"This life," he says when they pull apart. "You're awesome in this life."

"Okay, now you're just trying to make me blush." Tim kisses him again--a quick little kiss--and then moves down the bed again. He nudges Buster's knees apart and settles in between them. "Speaking of awesome...fuck, just look at you."

There it is again--that weird little feeling of pride. Buster blushes a little and says, "too busy looking at you."

"Okay, then," Tim says with a grin. "Now that we've made it through the mutual admiration stage...."

Tim pops the cap on the bottle and a moment later, Buster tenses as he feels Tim's slick fingers move over his hole. "It's okay," Tim says. "It's okay...."

Taking a deep breath, Buster pauses and then lets it out. He liked it when Hunter did this and now.... Now, it's Tim and as much as Buster's grateful that Hunter helped him, it's different with Tim. It means something.

"Yeah," he says and spreads his legs a little. "Yeah."

Tim runs his dry hand along Buster's leg while he teases him. It's not long before Buster's squirming and breathing hard. When Tim presses inside of him, it's good; Buster sighs a little and opens his eyes. Tim's looking at him, one eyebrow raised.

"You good?"

"Yeah. More?"

"I can do that." Tim does and before long, Buster's rocking his hips up, trying to get even more.

To his surprise, Tim slides down on the bed a little before pushing a second finger into him. Before Buster can do or say anything, Tim grins up at him.

"Oh fuck," Buster yelps as Tim slides his mouth down over Buster's dick. "Jesus fucking Christ...Timmy...Tim!"

Buster's not sure which is better, the hot, wet pressure around his cock as Tim starts sucking, or the sudden shock as Tim moves his fingers over that one spot. He knows, somewhere in the back of his head, that he can't just shove his hips up, but it's so hard not to, hard not to move with Tim's mouth on his dick and his fingers up Buster's ass.

It gets easier when Tim's free hand presses down on Buster's hip, holding him in place. But, in a way, it's even more difficult, because now there's nothing he can do but lie here and let Tim take him apart. Buster's close, so close and then Tim stops; his fingers go still and he pulls off Buster's dick with an obscene slurp.

Buster stares at him in shock. "Tim...damnit...c'mon...let me...please?"

"You have no idea," Tim says, his eyes wide almost like he's afraid. "This is...Buster, I've wanted this, you, so fucking much."

Trying to think past the need that's clawing at him, Buster sucks in a deep breath. "I didn't know, but like I said--we've been headed here." And then, because Tim seems to need some kind of reassurance, he adds, "it'll be okay. We'll be okay."

"Yeah," Tim says and then he smiles. "Yeah," he says again. "You good?"

"With us? With this? Yeah, I am." Buster lets out a shaky breath. "Course, I kinda need to come real bad here."

"Well, I guess." Tim lowers his head again and this time he goes all the way down, sucking hard. As he does, he twists his fingers hard and there's that sudden intense spark of feeling.

"Tim...Timmy...oh God...oh fuck." With a full body shudder, Buster gives it up and comes so hard he almost blacks out.

When he's vaguely coherent, he opens his eyes and smiles up at Tim. He feels floaty and even a little goofy. "That was fucking awesome." Tim's kneeling up between Buster's legs and the sight of him licking his lips makes Buster want to come all over again. But that, Buster thinks, isn't fair.

"Hey," he says. "I wanna...." He has to trail off because he's not actually sure what he wants to do to Tim. Suck him, let Tim fuck him, anything Tim wants right now. He kind of wants to do it all, but this day has been so good that he'd rather not fuck it up and get weird in the middle of things.

"Plenty of time for whatever you want," Tim says, reaching down between his own legs. When his shoulder starts moving, Buster realizes what he's doing.

"Oh hey," he says, struggling to sit up. "Lemme, okay?"

"Yeah," Tim says, his voice already a little shaky. Once Buster can see him--and wow, it's so much hotter than the porn Buster watched the other night. It's easy to reach out and wrap his hand around Tim's dick. 

"Yeah." Tim licks his lips again as Buster begins to jerk him off. "See what you do to me? You're gonna let me fuck you, right?"

"Yeah," Buster says. "I'm going to let you."

"Gonna teach you...oh fuck...teach you how to blow me."

"Yeah," Buster says again. "I want to learn what gets you off." His hand is moving fast now, and Tim's whole body is tense; he staring at Buster. "Lemme see you come now. C'mon, Timmy."

Tim groans and comes all over Buster's hand and the bed. Wow, Buster thinks. He did that looking at Buster; Tim got off because of Buster. Leaning in, Buster reaches for Tim. "Come here," he says.

Once Tim's lying on top of him, Buster kisses him. "You," he says. "It's been...I'm sorry it took me so long."

"It's okay." Tim turns his head and nuzzles at Buster's neck. When Buster catches his breath and shivers, Tim chuckles. "Of course, I'm gonna want to make up for lost time."

Buster doesn't care that this will mean sneaking around in hotels and pretending that he still lives out in Orinda and not looking at Tim the wrong way in public or any of it. "Me too," he says. "Me too."

* * *

_mid-October_

"Wha...huh?" Buster wakes up and looks around, blinking. "Oh hey, that was fast."

"Only because you fell asleep," Tim says with a smile as he lets the dogs out of the back seat. They run around a little but they're both kind of droopy; if they were kids, Buster would be rushing to get them in bed before they got whiny.

"Sorry," he says, getting out of the car. He yawns, wide enough that it makes his jaw hurt. "Was the traffic bad?"

"Only a little on the bridge."

Buster frowns a little as he tries to remember. "Wow, I fell asleep before we even got to the tunnel."

"Dude, I think you fell asleep before we left the driveway." Buster opens his mouth and then closes it when Tim scowls at him. "Don't you dare apologize. I only spent a couple days with...with y'all and I'm exhausted."

"All y'all," Buster says. "That's the plural."

"Wait, what?" Tim says as they step into the house. "You're correcting my Redneck?"

"If you're gonna make fun of us hicks, you need to do it right." Buster slides an arm around Tim's waist. "Was it too much?"

"Not quite?" Tim sounds hesitant and Buster hugs him closer.

"Hey, it's a lot to take in."

"Buster Posey, master of the understatement." Tim kisses him, just a quick kiss, but it's exactly what Buster needs. "Want a beer?"

"That sounds great."

It's cooler in the city than it was out in Orinda, but it's still warm enough that Buster opens up all the windows while Tim gets the beers and feeds the dogs. As Buster flops down on the sofa, he yawns again.

"You okay?" Tim asks.

"Mostly." When Tim sits down next to him, he's close but not close enough; Buster puts an arm around his shoulder and pulls Tim until they leaning against each other. "Don't get me wrong," he says. "I like Tucker; he's open minded and he makes Kristen happy, but...."

"Addy and Lee call him Daddy."

"Yeah. but it's not just that." Buster takes a long drink of beer and thinks of the last ten days--kids and dogs and barbeques and the pool and all the trappings of the life he grew up wanting. "I feel guilty because it was work. And I'm a little glad...."

"That everyone's gone?"

"Yeah."

"People change," Tim says. "Which, way to be original, but still, you're not the guy you were when the kids were born. And you know, maybe they'll grow up calling Tucker Daddy, but when they're a little older, they'll know you and know who you are. And it won't always be a week here or there in the offseason."

"I know. And even if I were still married, I wouldn't be home most of the year anyway." He finishes his beer and contemplates getting another, but no, he's too comfortable. And he really needs to be close to Tim right now.

"You're not a bad dad, you know." When Buster snorts, Tim jabs him with an elbow. "Cut it out. Would you rather they grew up with a dad who wasn't happy because he gave up being himself for their sake? You'd have been miserable and kids...they can tell, you know.

"Never thought of it that way. How are you so smart?"

"Easy enough, since I'm on the outside looking in."

"Not totally outside. You're pretty good with them, you know."

Tim's silent for a long moment. "It's weird," he finally says. "Because it was kind of awkward with Tucker and Kristen, but I liked playing around with the kids and the dogs."

"Maybe," Buster says. "Maybe a few years down the road when it's just the kids visiting...." He trails off because, what the hell? It's not like Tim ever wanted kids and Buster knows that. "Sorry," he says. "That was stupid."

"No it wasn't. They're a part of your life and I knew that going in. I've always known that."

"Yeah but knowing is different than dealing with cranky kids."

"It's not like we have to worry about it for a while. We'll make it up as we go along."

"True," Buster says and then yawns again. 

"C'mon," Tim says. "You need a nap and I...."

"Want a jay."

"Yeah."

It's strange how much things can change in a few months. Buster's learned that, for Tim, the occasional joint is like the occasional beer is for Buster--not a big deal at all. And sure, there are times when Tim gets really stoned, but then there are times when Buster gets really drunk. And anyway, Tim doesn't get wasted when Buster's home; he saves it for the nights he games with his non-baseball buddies.

"Okay," he says. "Not that I have a choice; if I don't get up, I'm gonna fall asleep right here."

When Buster wakes up, the bedroom's dim, the last of the sunset's light filtering through the curtains. He feels a lot better; it's not just kids who get cranky when they haven't had enough sleep.

He's just coming out of the bathroom when Tim appears in the doorway.

"Hey."

"Hey." Buster flops back down on the bed. "You feeling a little more relaxed?"

"Yeah," Tim says, with a little smirk. "You?"

"Mostly. Wanna help me get all the way there?"

"I suppose." Tim's trying to sound put upon, but his big, goofy smile is spoiling the effect.

Tim smells a little like dope, but Buster's gotten used to the smell too. It's weird, but he almost likes it, these days. Or maybe not so weird, he thinks as Tim straddles him; smoking, even a little, usually makes Tim horny.

"Missed you," Buster says, arching a little under Tim's weight. "That blowjob yesterday wasn't enough."

"I like how Kristen totally knew what was up and Tucker was clueless." Tim pauses and then laughs. "What the fuck kind of hick name is Tucker? I thought Buster was bad enough, but damn. Dude named Tucker...you expect he's got a Confederate flag tattooed on his ass or maybe a big wheel truck. Bet he hunts."

Buster laughs along with him. "Yeah, he's kind of a good ol' boy." He squirms again, pressing his dick up against Tim's ass. "I'm gonna lose this if we keep talking about him."

"Like I can't make you get it up again." Still laughing, Tim reaches down and rubs his thumb across one of Buster's nipples.

"Yeah, you can," he says, his breath hitching a little as Tim pinches just a little. "Mmmm...yeah...what do you wanna do?"

"How about you blow me for a little bit and then I'll fuck you?"

Buster's breath gets caught in his throat again. It's been months, but he still feels a little shocked when Tim talks like that. And Tim, the bastard, knows it.

"Yeah," is all he says. 

Sometimes Tim leaves his jeans on because he's figured out that it makes Buster feel just a little slutty. Not that Buster minds, because it's kind of the flip side of being shocked; he likes to feel slutty. Tonight though, Tim rolls over to the side of the bed and starts stripping. Buster takes a moment to stare at the lean muscles of his back as he pulls his shirt off before dealing with his own shorts.

"Up here?" Buster says, once they're both naked.

"Oh hell yeah."

Speaking of things that make him feel slutty, Buster thinks as he scoots down in the bed a little so Tim can straddle him. He likes doing it this way for more than one reason, though. It's the only way he can deep throat Tim and Buster figures it's a way to thank Tim for putting up with suburban life.

Then Tim's above him and Tim's dick is right there and God, that's hot. Buster licks his lips a couple times and then says, "yeah, do it."

Tim's careful at first, pushing into Buster's mouth with slow, shallow thrusts. And while Buster appreciates that, it's only a few minutes before his mouth's all slick and wet and he's ready for more. Reaching up, he rests a hand on Tim's hip and tugs a little. With a rough groan, Tim pulls back and then his dick's moving into Buster's mouth. Buster panics for just a second as Tim keeps pressing into him, but then he's relaxing again. Sucking hard, he starts to moan as Tim slowly fucks his mouth. Above him, Tim's muttering "Buster" and "oh fuck" and "God, so hot" and yeah, that's what Buster wants to hear.

Gulping down a deep breath, he tugs Tim's hip again and this time, when Tim thrusts into his mouth, he doesn't stop. Buster feels a little thrill of triumph when he's got it all, and then he swallows and presses his tongue against the underside of Tim's cock as much as he can in this position. He is, he suddenly thinks, sucking someone's cock. Sucking someone's cock and _liking_ it.

When Tim pulls out after a few more deep thrusts, Buster licks his lips. "This is so gay," he says, grinning up at Tim.

"Yeah well," Tim says, panting hard. "It's just...fuck you're hot...just gonna get gayer." He slides down Buster's body until they're face to face. "Jesus, your fucking mouth," he mutters before kissing Buster hard.

By the time Tim's settled in between Buster's legs, Buster's grabbed the lube off the nightstand. "Here," he says, pushing it into Tim's hand.

"Impatient," Tim says.

"Greedy more like." Anything else Buster was going to say gets lost in his harsh gasp as Tim pushes a couple of slick fingers into him. There are nights when Tim will take his time and tease Buster until Buster's crazy for it, but tonight, they're both too wound up for that. "C'mon, c'mon," Buster mutters as Tim twists his fingers. "C'mon Timmy."

"Fuck yeah," Tim says. It's still a little weird not to see him pause and put a condom on, but they gave up on those about a month ago. They tested clean and it's not like either of them is fucking anyone else.

Buster knows he really can't tell, but he still think it feels better when Tim pushes into him bare. "Oh God...oh fuck...Tim," he manages to say as Tim starts fucking him. He's going slow and steady, the way he was when Buster was blowing him, but right now, it's not enough.

"C'mon," Buster says again. "Harder. Not like I'm catching tomorrow or anything."

"You wanna get fucked? Really fucked?" Tim pauses, grinning down at him.

"Jesus, Lincecum, do I need to throw a fucking sign? Put your fucking back into it."

Tim laughs and shoves at one of Buster's legs. "Get those knees up there, Posey. Gotta keep you flexible in the off season."

The first time Buster did this, he thought his face was going to actually catch on fire. And yeah, there's that half-shocked/half-slutty feeling again as he grabs the back of his knees and pulls. Tim squirms around a little until Buster's legs are up over his shoulders and then he pulls back.

"Do it," Buster says.

It's like he feels it everywhere, all over his whole fucking body when Tim shoves into him hard. Tim totally took Buster at his word, too; he doesn't waste any time setting up a hard, pounding rhythm. It's almost too much, but then again, it's perfect; each rough thrust makes him shudder and pant.

"Tim...oh fuck, Timmy...just like that...yeah, fuck me." The whole bed's shaking now and when Tim turns his head and starts biting Buster's leg, Buster groans. In this position, he can't move much, but he's still straining to push back onto Tim's cock. He can't even talk now, but he's still loud, crying out wordlessly as Tim fucks him and fucks him and fucks him.

"God...god fucking damn...love fucking you like this...love the way you feel, all hot and fucking tight." Buster has no idea how Tim can talk during sex, but it's pretty hot to hear.

"Yeah?" he manages, and just that is a real effort.

"Yeah...look at you...just taking it like this...letting me fuck you...so hot...God Buster you're so hot...."

Tim's fucking Buster even harder now and it's so good, so amazing, and Buster thinks that maybe.... "Fuck," he gasps. "Tim...gonna...."

"Like this? Oh fuck...just from my dick in you? Yeah...yeah, Buster...yeah, do it!"

When Tim bites his leg again, it's more than enough. Buster yells something that might be Tim's name and comes _hard_. Tim doesn't stop, doesn't even slow down and as Buster shudders through the aftershocks, it's almost like coming again. Just when it's too much, when it stops feeling rough and shades over into too intense, Tim groans and shoves into Buster one more time.

"Sweet fucking Jesus," Buster gasps. "Goddamn, Tim."

"Yeah," Tim says, as breathless as Buster is. "What you said."

He stays on top of Buster for a moment and then Buster's shivering at the feeling as Tim pulls out. Buster eases his legs down and, flexible or not, he can feel a little bit of a burn in his thighs. But even though he's also feeling it in his back a little and his ass is a kinda sore, it's good. It's all good.

Tim sits back on his heels and rolls his shoulders a little. "Fuck that was good," he says and then slides up the bed until he can wrap himself around Buster. Never mind that Buster came all over himself and it's going to start itching any minute now, he tightens his arms around Tim and holds him close.

Buster presses his face into Tim's hair and breathes in the smell of him--sex and sweat and dope. It's perfect. It's Tim and all Buster has to do is open his mouth for the words to come out. "Love you."

"Mmmm," Tim says, his hand resting on Buster's chest. "Love you too."

They lie like that for a long time and then, just when things are getting really itchy, Tim rolls over and sits up.

"So," he says, smirking as he looks Buster over. "Gay enough for you?"

"I dunno...I'm in bed with a dude and not only did I blow him and let him fuck me, I just told him I love him." Buster does his best to look serious, like he does when he's missed a joke. "I would say that's pretty gay."

_-end-_


End file.
